Handling Compliments
A lot of women struggle with compliments - and I was one of them for years.
If you’re complimented on a dress, how do you respond? “Oh, this old thing?” We can make others feel silly for their seemingly questionable taste. Others think a compliment must be automatically volleyed back to the giver, something like a shuttlecock in badminton. “You look great!” gushes one girl. “You too!” squeals the other. It sounds like a scene in a slasher movie, right before the prom queen meets a grisly fate.
And a Savvy Girl takes a moment to compliment an older lady. These women often take such care before they step into the world, their hair coiffed just so, a carefully chosen brooch setting off a smart blouse. Yet often, no one really notices. Go ahead: tell them! I was once enjoying a lazy read in a London park, where I saw two people greet each other. The man presented the lady with a rose; that was interesting, as she had a suitcase and seemed to be jetting off somewhere. Soon after, they parted. After her friend left, the lady approached a well-dressed older woman at a nearby bench. “I noticed you looking so elegant,” she said. “It made me want to give you this.” The older lady beamed. The flower could easily have been discarded, but the first woman made it count for someone else.
How do you handle compliments?
When I observe someone being kind/ complimenting someone it seems like there are three benefits. The person receiving the kindness/ compliment feels cared for and valued.The person expressing it,feels the joy of giving and having a positive impact on another’s life. The third beneficiary of all this is ME. Hope springs up in me as I watch the interaction between the giver and receiver, and I, too, am blessed! What a simple but wonderful way to add to one’s life.
Hello Miss Ellie! You captured the dynamic beautifully… the grace inherent in giving, receiving and even witnessing the compliment.
We’ve all seen the opposite too… when compliments are swatted away like a fly at barbeque, your input is a lovely reminder that we have a choice in how to react.
Thank you!
Alicia
Valuable info. Fortunate me I found your website accidentally,
and I am shocked why this twist of fate did not happened earlier!
I bookmarked it.
Hello Henrietta, and thanks for your lovely note! Glad to have played a little part in serendipity!
Please stop by anytime, we’d love to hear your thoughts on things.
Cheers,
Alicia
Your post inspired me to stop to pay a compliment to an elderly lady I saw waiting for a ride. Her umbrella was so intriguing and fun. It was black with red silk roses around the edge. Bundled up it looked like a bouquet; that’s what caught my eye. I told her how much I admired her umbrella. “Thank you. Would you like to open it?” I wanted to and did. Red roses surrounded me. It was a fun, impromptu stop.
Hey Francie, great call!
Your post made me smile, I’m sure you made the lady’s day; little connections can boost us for days.
And I’m intrigued by an umbrella designed to look like a bunch of roses – you know how I love my parasols!
Thanks for sharing,
Alicia
I love this post! What a great reminder to all women to accept compliments graciously. I also love the reminder to compliment older ladies. I have to admit that I’m really good at complimenting elderly ladies:)
Hello Grace – lovely to see your name pop up!
I’m not surprised, but I love that you’re well-versed in complimenting older ladies. As Tander says below, it transforms their day.
Please stop by anytime!
Alicia
Giving a compliment is so simple and easy to do and often makes a persons day! On several occasions I have caught the look of uncertainty on a lady’s face when she is trying on a dress in the changing rooms and is thinking “should I, shouldn’t I?”. If it suits her I just say so and I always get a smile of acknowledgment (by the way I am not in sales!). Savvy girls often know what suits them, but sometimes a little encouragement/compliment is reassuring. Paying a compliment costs nothing but can give someone a real moment of pleasure. A simple ‘thank you’ is an elegant way of accepting a compliment. Keep posting Alicia, I love reading your blog & look forward to reading your book. Marie
Marie, I’ve done the same thing in dressing rooms! It takes just a moment and they straighten ever so slightly at the reassurance.
And thanks so much for your support on the blog and book, I don’t take it for granted for a moment.
Alicia
I think it speaks to how really self conscious we ae as a society aboutour looks. We are bombarded by images of women that do NOT represent the everywoman or everyman so naturally, we do not “measure up”! However, the other side of that is that there IS a problem with keeping people healthy, too – overeating unhealthy foods that are so available and the lack of exercise has caused a real obesity problem in the US.
I think when someone feels good, they look good no matter what their weight. So it speaks to people doing their best to stay healthy and when that is acknowledged, just say “Why, THANK YOU!” Enjoy the success!
Great point, Louisa. We can feel good and look good no matter what our weight, and that feeling resonates way beyond our clothing size.
As you said, we’re bombarded by unrealistic images of women, so some don’t feel they can accept or deserve a compliment unless they look runway-ready.
Comes back to self esteem.
Thanks for your thoughts!
Alicia
Alicia, I completely agree with paying a compliment to an older lady. I have found myself doing it more of late (usually based on their perfumes!) and it just seems to make their day and they become quite chatty. It is really sweet given the “hurried” electronic age we live in to converse with someone face to face.
As for accepting compliments, it is something I never used to do but as I am becoming an “older lady” I accept any compliments that come my way now! If someone has taken the time to observe me, it is the least I can do!!! I do agree though, many people just don’t accept them for whatever reason.
On another note, when is your book coming out?
Hey Tander, thanks for sharing your experiences.
No doubt those ladies smiled for days after you took the time to notice their fragrance!
Mark Twain said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Talk about a boost!
And thanks for asking, the book is coming along nicely. The rough proofs arrived the other day (in paperback) and I have to say, it was a thrill to hold it in my hand!
The back cover is being finished as we speak, so just another month or two, touch wood.
Always good to see your name pop up!
Alicia