In a coffee shop today, I discreetly observed an elderly man with his two granddaughters, young teens who had just finished a sports game. My heart broke for him as he tried to engage them, smiling as he talked proudly about one girl’s great kick, or recounting gleefully about a dexterous move the other pulled off in the game’s final minutes. He got only grunts and rolling eyes in response. They barely looked up from their phones, hypnotized by their screens. Many others around us were similarly glued to their screens, as they had coffee and chatted with friends. Neighbors… [Read More]
A graceful breakup: is it possible?
“The lying, cheating husband sale”. A Canadian woman made headlines recently when she offloaded her husband’s possessions “while he is gone… with his floozie.” She placed an ad trumpeting the event, and offered, at no additional cost, for patrons to see her cheating spouse’s clothes. More specifically, the ashes of his clothes. In the driveway. You can’t deny her impact—she vowed he would return to a near-empty house. But it begs the question: is there a graceful way to break up with someone, or tell a spouse you want a divorce? I recall the campus lore of a scorned girlfriend… [Read More]
One Fabulous Tip on Public Speaking
Making a wedding toast. Presenting at work. Persuading a jury you really are an upstanding citizen (despite those drunken videos online). Public speaking is a fabulous life skill, and it needn’t be a daunting one to acquire. Whether we speak to agitate, educate or entertain, being able to speak in front of others helps across social and professional settings. What’s a Savvy Girl to do? I can’t recommend Toastmasters enough (& to be clear, I don’t get a cent for endorsement.) I thought TM was a stuffy organization, full of men in tweed suits and women in twinsets and pearls,… [Read More]
The Perks of Laryngitis (really).
I’ve just shrugged off a bout of laryngitis— and despite a red-raw throat, there were unexpected perks. First: not being able to talk at my usual 90mph. At the hairdressers’, our dynamic changed. We normally chat nonstop about life, movies, and the headlines—in between solving the world’s problems (if he’d added the ten-minute hot oil treatment, we would have nailed the mid-east peace process.) Instead, I listened. And without our rapid-fire volleys, we shifted gears. To the pain of seeing his elderly mother enter a home. To his worries that his son is struggling at school. Sure, we still laughed,… [Read More]
A Toast to Girlfriends.
I’ve been pondering the gift of Girlfriends and the roles they play in our lives. When I look back on how we met, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that long-lasting bonds form at pivotal moments in life—from first grade, to first jobs, Little Athletics to college or when you move to a new neighborhood. It’s as though the universe recognizes that we’re in an age or stage of flux, and a good friend or two will transform our experience. Girlfriends. How would we survive without them? They listen patiently, share our tears, and make us laugh until our sides ache. They… [Read More]
Dear Pope: Please make your retirement count for something.
Dear Pope Benedict: I wish you well, and I urge you to make your retirement count for something. Why not announce you are stepping down as a healing gesture for the river of victims abused by pedophile priests? The Catholic Church – and as its leader, you – have demonstrated strategic, calculated indifference to decades of child rape and molestation. Both as Pontiff and an influential cardinal, you oversaw the transfer of priests to new parishes, where they preyed on fresh victims. Respectfully, you have done too little, too late. Please make your final announcement a truly healing one. I ask… [Read More]
The women who live in my wallet
… and by wallet I mean purse. And by purse I mean bag. And by bag, I mean the leather monstrosity (big enough to move into) that fell on my head while spring-cleaning. In it, I found a stack of old ID cards. As I spread them out, they evoked my journey so far. A sample: LIBRARY CARD, circa high-school: fresh-faced, I gaze out, all straightened teeth and sparkly eyes. Pity about the perm. Yes. A perm. Shaped to my head (a moment’s silence, to reflect on just how bad that is). The card evokes water-stained taffeta dresses, an after-school… [Read More]
Do you allow yourself to dream big?
I mean really dream, conjuring an image of something or someone that you wish to be part of your life? An image so vivid that you can see, hear and feel it? I’m inspired by athletes, artists and others who say they pictured their “moment” over and over until it became reality. Dreams are fragile, yet passionate utterances (if we even say them out loud …) that deserve to be breathed into life. And of course, they come in all shapes, sizes and time-frames. Maybe you long to live in Italy, or master the cello, or pen a song, or own a… [Read More]
Mistaken Identity: I am *not* the Boob Blogger.
Some people share their name with rock stars, world leaders or Nobel Laureates. Not me. I call it The Case of the Curious Stats (as in statistics). Like most sites, this website allows us to monitor general data—which countries are represented, which pages are most viewed etc. I was curious to see a recent spike in hits from Spain. Lovely, I thought…someone had picked up my blog in Barcelona or Madrid? The numbers continued to grow. Within a few days I was tossing my hair in that slightly-self-satisfied way, worthy of a shampoo commercial (I drew the line at winking). Then… [Read More]
CHARITY FATIGUE: If, when and how much to give?
If you’ve ever experienced a little charity fatigue, I feel for you. I live in an activist neighborhood, where most days a Savvy Girl can’t take three steps without being pressed for a signature, a membership, a donation, or occasionally, a kidney. You want to help, but it can be overwhelming sometimes. Yesterday I witnessed something that is still washing over me. A woman in a wheelchair has been on the same corner for years, asking for money. “Pam” has had a hard life; struggle, rejection and hunger is etched in her face, making her look far older than her late forties. She’s pleasant and chatty, and… [Read More]