In a coffee shop today, I discreetly observed an elderly man with his two granddaughters, young teens who had just finished a sports game. My heart broke for him as he tried to engage them, smiling as he talked proudly about one girl’s great kick, or recounting gleefully about a dexterous move the other pulled off in the game’s final minutes. He got only grunts and rolling eyes in response. They barely looked up from their phones, hypnotized by their screens. Many others around us were similarly glued to their screens, as they had coffee and chatted with friends. Neighbors… [Read More]
A graceful breakup: is it possible?
“The lying, cheating husband sale”. A Canadian woman made headlines recently when she offloaded her husband’s possessions “while he is gone… with his floozie.” She placed an ad trumpeting the event, and offered, at no additional cost, for patrons to see her cheating spouse’s clothes. More specifically, the ashes of his clothes. In the driveway. You can’t deny her impact—she vowed he would return to a near-empty house. But it begs the question: is there a graceful way to break up with someone, or tell a spouse you want a divorce? I recall the campus lore of a scorned girlfriend… [Read More]
The Perks of Laryngitis (really).
I’ve just shrugged off a bout of laryngitis— and despite a red-raw throat, there were unexpected perks. First: not being able to talk at my usual 90mph. At the hairdressers’, our dynamic changed. We normally chat nonstop about life, movies, and the headlines—in between solving the world’s problems (if he’d added the ten-minute hot oil treatment, we would have nailed the mid-east peace process.) Instead, I listened. And without our rapid-fire volleys, we shifted gears. To the pain of seeing his elderly mother enter a home. To his worries that his son is struggling at school. Sure, we still laughed,… [Read More]
Mistaken Identity: I am *not* the Boob Blogger.
Some people share their name with rock stars, world leaders or Nobel Laureates. Not me. I call it The Case of the Curious Stats (as in statistics). Like most sites, this website allows us to monitor general data—which countries are represented, which pages are most viewed etc. I was curious to see a recent spike in hits from Spain. Lovely, I thought…someone had picked up my blog in Barcelona or Madrid? The numbers continued to grow. Within a few days I was tossing my hair in that slightly-self-satisfied way, worthy of a shampoo commercial (I drew the line at winking). Then… [Read More]
CHARITY FATIGUE: If, when and how much to give?
If you’ve ever experienced a little charity fatigue, I feel for you. I live in an activist neighborhood, where most days a Savvy Girl can’t take three steps without being pressed for a signature, a membership, a donation, or occasionally, a kidney. You want to help, but it can be overwhelming sometimes. Yesterday I witnessed something that is still washing over me. A woman in a wheelchair has been on the same corner for years, asking for money. “Pam” has had a hard life; struggle, rejection and hunger is etched in her face, making her look far older than her late forties. She’s pleasant and chatty, and… [Read More]
MY ELIZABETH TAYLOR MOMENT (marrying the same man twice)
His proposal came in the middle of a job interview. I had just returned from London and Jon wanted me to move into the boarding school where he worked and lived. The school principal agreed—on one condition. He was a tall man, and he spread his long arms out like wings to make his point as the verdict was delivered. “I’d love to have you here,” he told me, “but you can’t live in sin. I’ll give you four weeks to get married.” “I think not”, I sniffed, not about to forfeit our wedding day for a quick, drive-by affair…. [Read More]
Living With Intent (updated)
Hello – and Happy New Year to you! January holds its own magic, when the year ahead stretches out crisp and fresh, brimming with potential. At a party yesterday, we were asked our intent for the year…not a specific resolution per se… but what guiding intent we want to propel our thoughts, our actions, and our language. One person said she would usher in an intention of non-judgment in her life. I imagined her welcoming it in, like a house guest, and getting comfortable with it at home. In time, it would naturally infuse the way she views people and… [Read More]
The Year of No
Could you organize the group gift? Could you babysit this weekend? Could you lend me some money (again)? Meet Carla. She said yes to all these requests—this past weekend. People who meet her see a dynamic, caring and accomplished woman. They’re right.They’re just missing something—Carla is a people-pleaser. You won’t find it highlighted on her resume, or part of her online profile, but it’s there. Carla struggles to say no. She is warm and caring at her core, so it’s no act—she wants to help. But then she feels resentful later, when her time is stretched. Have you ever suffered… [Read More]