One Fabulous Tip on Public Speaking
Making a wedding toast. Presenting at work. Persuading a jury you really are an upstanding citizen (despite those drunken videos online).
Public speaking is a fabulous life skill, and it needn't be a daunting one to acquire. Whether we speak to agitate, educate or entertain, being able to speak in front of others helps across social and professional settings.
What’s a Savvy Girl to do? I can’t recommend Toastmasters enough (& to be clear, I don’t get a cent for endorsement.) I thought TM was a stuffy organization, full of men in tweed suits and women in twinsets and pearls, sipping sherry. I couldn't have been more wrong. Check one out (www.toastmasters.org) – in fact, check out a few different clubs, as each group has a different vibe.
A brief rundown: each meeting has a few prepared speeches (usually 5-7 mins) and then anyone can get up for Table Topics™, impromptu talks of 1-3 mins. You might get anything from a favorite childhood memory, to a quote, to a color to prompt you. It’s relaxed and fun; you'll feel supported, your nerves diminishing and your speech becoming more polished. Depending on your country, the first six months costs about $90, $70 thereafter – your first years’ dues are less than an hour with a coach.
Besides, you never know when you’ll need to purr your thanks at the Oscars™, graciously receive an award at the company dinner, or introduce someone at a conference.
How do you feel about public speaking? I’d love to hear your triumphs and your Savvy recoveries.
Public Speaking you either love it or hate it. When I am put on the spot, I can usually manage a few words . I have seen some people break out into a rash and a sweat. It’s good to get out of your comfort zone every now and then but traumatising a person until they have a physical reaction is just not on. One of my friends had hypnosis and swears by it!!!
Aurora
Hi Aurora, hypnosis is an interesting take on things! Certainly worth a try if someone finds public speaking that debilitating – thanks for the suggestion!
Alicia
I have found if I am passionate about what I am talking about, know what I am talking about or want to “present” what I am talking about, it is easy. I figure everyone has gone through it and there comes a time in your life you just don’t care what others think (well, at least I think so). Life is too short to stress about what can be an enjoyable experience.
On another note, I recently heard about someone who gets so anxious and worked up about public speaking, he needs medication….. that is pretty serious!
Tander, you make a really good point on how feeling passionate about something can tip the balance on our nerves and propel us forward to speak… or speak up.
And I agree that taking that chance is made so much easier when we release expectations of what others will think. I love the Eleanor Roosevelt quote, “We are not judged, until we accept the judgment of others.”
On another note…that poor man! No public speaking should require medication.
Thanks for sharing, I value your input.
Alicia
Ugh! Not a big fan of public speaking at all… let’s just say that I did not put my name in for Pope.
That said, when I’m passionate and fired up about something, I can deliver a speech and a half, a.k.a. I can argue with the best of ’em. 🙂 Something I have always prided myself on.
Thanks for the very good reminder, Alicia, to get out there with a Toastmasters club… there’s one at my workplace and I tried it a few times but quit as I preferred fun lunches… :S I should really get back at it.
xo
Pope Jane! Now that would make the world sit up!
And it’s so refreshing to hear a Savvy Girl own her skills-set! I have no doubt you could cut it with the best of them.
Good on you for re-visiting the idea of your Toastmasters’ club at work – I’d like to have done that a little while ago, but that particular group was very conservative and business-focused. Not that I planned on speaking on anything too brow-raising – the finer points of bondage, anyone?! – it was just a different vibe.
Cheers,
Alicia x
I am hopeless at family speeches, I am well known to be a cryer – not a town cryer – but the tears and nose dripping sort. So it can be embarrasing, they all say “oh here it comes”. But strangely I always end up with the speech making jobs in the family, is that because they want to laugh at my ever ready and present emotions or because I do a reasonable job? I don’t know but would love to ask. Interestingly for the last big event – my Dad’s 80th, I wrote the speech and made my brother deliver it – so much easier to be in the audience – less tissues and no runny mascara.
On a work / professional level I enjoy facilitating sessions, doing presentations – sure I get nervous but if I know the topic I am quite happy to do it. Maybe I need to pretend I am at work when I am delivering a family speech? Who knows! Any suggestions?
Hello Kate, I’m the same- I feel the tears prick or my voice catch trying to pay someone a tribute if I know them personally. But even if your family teases you, I’m sure they’d be so touched by it at the same time.
Nice tweak in strategy on your speech for your dad’s birthday! I find it helps to pause a little more frequently, it seems to settle things and to keep the tears from spilling over.
Also, I find injecting something a little funny/silly here and then helps to redirect the energy and vary the pace.
Thanks for dropping by!
Alicia
Public speaking is said to be ranked worse than death in a survey of things ‘most feared’ by people! Whilst public speaking has never been a favourite past-time of mine, I’m not sure I’d rank it on par with a violent death. It is a great skill to acquire and any techniques to get over the stammers, high pitched voice and dry throat helps. Toastmasters is a good idea, might check this out in London area. Drama classes and amateur theatre can also help with public speaking…but not to be taken lightly – think about how often your family and friends will have to support you and sit through your amature productions! Thanks & I love your blog Alicia. Congrats. Marie.
Marie, you’re right. They say at funerals, many people would rather be the one in the casket, then the one giving the eulogy!
And I smiled at your mention of high-pitched voices it’s mostly a female thing, damn it! 🙂
But awareness is the first step to do anything (wait- was I implying you were high-pitched? I meant our gender in general…).
Thanks for sharing, and for your support.
Alicia
This is truly my worst fear. The very thought has my stomach in knots. I haven’t had to do much public speaking since I left university and plan to keep it that way. Here at work I’ve had to speak via web conferencing, just audio, no visual, and even that had me sweating! I even refused to say a *few words* at my own wedding, which had a total of 26 guests, all family! But couldn’t bring myself to do it, just couldn’t. I applaud, very loudly, to those who can, it truly is a skill, a masterful one at that.
Hey Christina, I know what you mean, I side-stepped saying something at our wedding too. But I challenge you to check out a TM this year- some meet only once or twice a month for a hour or so, so it’s not a lot of time. You could totally conquer it!
Okay, off my soapbox…
Thanks for dropping by, I always appreciate seeing your name.
Alicia
This immediately brought to mind the lovely sentiments shared by my son’s
BEST BRO at his wedding just six months ago. Having been dormmates at a small New England boarding school during high school, they remained close throughout college and moved to the same city after graduation. So, when our son was planning his wedding there was no question who would stand at his side on the BIG day. The fact that they had been like the three amigos: my son, his BEST BRO and his fiance, who had moved in to their man cave and lived with them for two years before the formal engagement, just sealed the deal.
Soooo, fast forward to the BIG day; after a year and a half of meticulous planning, we were all finally at THE most beautiful and emotional event of a lifetime. Surrounded by loved ones, including his 92 year old granma, we witnessed our son and his beloved take their vows and welcome the attendees to a sumptuous wedding reception. When the moment to toast the bride and groom finally came, the room was so still, so quiet you could almost hear the bride and groom’s hearts beating.
One by one, the groom’s parents, the bride’s mother, made of honor and, the grandma who had not flown in over 20 years, all spoke sharing their best wishes for the happy couple. Everyone listened intently and smiled, joining in the blessing of the new family. BUT when the BEST BRO, turned BEST MAN took the microphone, we held our breath and eventually tears streamed down many a smiling face as he spoke of the years they had spent nurturing a relationship that would ultimately lead them to this day. He spoke of how seriously he took the commitment he was making to stay connected to them both; to seeing them through whatever life events they confronted, joyful or challenging, as they had done for him. It was one of the most moving, heartfelt parts of the evening which lives in our collective memory as a turning point in our family’s history.
WELL DONE, BEST BRO. Onward and forward!
Louisa, that sounds like a truly memorable moment. It shows the impact of the spoken word, and how it can resonate for years to come – to become a turning point in your family’s history.
When we think of some of the cringe-worthy speeches we’ve probably all heard at weddings now and then, it’s refreshing to hear about the thought that your son’s best man put into his tribute.
Thanks for sharing it!
Alicia
I’ve never been one for speaking in public, I’m a listener. I have managed to avoid doing this type of thing since I left school, maybe one day I will be called on to do it. Somehow I dont think imagining the audience in their underwear would help at all although my sister assures me that it does work…..go figure
Ha! I agree Megan, I’ve never found it helps to picture the audience in their underwear. But hey, I guess it does for some, or the idea wouldn’t persist.
Thanks,
Alicia