THIS ISSUE: *My husband’s family object to us using an egg donor. *Infertility workshops or conferences? My husband’s parents object to us using an egg donor. It began with a few moans and groans, now they’re saying they’re reconsidering the wills. They insist they won’t consider the child their grandchild and believe science has gone to far (they won’t admit it, but there’s also the what-will-the-neighbor’s-think attitude.). I don’t care about the money, and neither does my husband really, but then, he has a lot more to lose. …and possibly everything to gain. I respect you have both endured enough… [Read More]
ASK AN EGG DONOR™
THIS ISSUE: *Is an egg donor a mother? *Announcing a pregnancy on Mother’s Day. *What happens in a counseling session between donor and recipient(s)? As an egg donor, do you consider yourself a mother? Biologically, yes, but day-to-day, no. I’m a biological mother to Rachael and Sam, and I’ll always be available to them if they have any questions, from my medical history down to my first movie-star crush. I consider their real mothers to be Angela and Kate, my egg recipients (I donated my eggs to two separate couples, both good friends.) They’re the ones who supervise homework, run carpool,… [Read More]
ASK AN EGG DONOR™
THIS ISSUE: *Tension over sister’s offer. *Office baby showers when you’re TTC. *How to tell my child. My sister and brother-in-law have been TTC (trying to conceive) for a year now, and recently I offered to be her donor. I was shocked when she flew off the handle and stormed off. I didn’t expect a gold medal, but neither did I think she’d chew my head off. It’s been a week of silence. I appreciate you had the very best intentions when you made the offer; it sounds like your sister simply needs some time to process it. They… [Read More]
ASK AN EGG DONOR™
THIS ISSUE: *My twin, my donor? *Best time to donate? *Do I tell a future partner that I donated?We’ve been trying to conceive (TTC) three years, and now the doctor says we need an egg donor. Our obvious choice is my twin sister. All our family and friends thinks it’s a perfect solution─just not for me. My sister and I were close as kids and teenagers, but always fiercely competitive. We still are. She has two children, says her family is complete and has offered to donate. I hate the idea, but my husband is over the moon. Just a… [Read More]
ASK AN EGG DONOR™
Issue #04. THIS ISSUE: *I’m adopted—can I be an egg donor? * How to support a dad-to-be? Privacy **Emotional IUOs. *** I’m adopted—can I still be an egg donor? I’ve both interviewed and received emails from egg donors who were adopted. Of course, each clinic has its own way of doing things, but in my experience each requires a detailed family and personal medical history. Clinic staff will be happy to help clarify what they would need. You don’t mention whether you have some patchy information about your birth family, or none at all. Do you feel ready to explore… [Read More]
ASK AN EGG DONOR™ January 2016
THIS ISSUE: *Unused Embryos *Fertility Registries *When to Look for a Donor *Pre-occupied Friends ***** Q: I’m gay and considering being an anonymous egg donor. The clinic has been great, but one thing bothers me: if there’s left over embryos and the parents don’t want them, why can’t I get them? I’d be open to using an anonymous sperm donor in the future, so I don’t see this as being any different. A: I’m not an attorney, but my understanding is that any and all donor eggs, donor sperm, and embryos created belong wholly and solely to the recipients. That… [Read More]
ASK AN EGG DONOR™ (December 2015)
ASK AN EGG DONOR™ #02, Dec 1, 2015. THIS ISSUE: *Asking a relative to be your egg donor *Coping with the Holidays *Using an overseas agency *Psychological assessment *Telling your family. We’re thinking of asking my adult niece to be our egg donor. How do we go about it? As I’m sure you appreciate, it’s an important issue that deserves careful consideration. While I respect your niece is an adult and can make her own decisions, you might like to first raise the idea with your sibling. You don’t mention whether your niece has started/completed her own family, or plans… [Read More]
The women who live in my wallet
… and by wallet I mean purse. And by purse I mean bag. And by bag, I mean the leather monstrosity (big enough to move into) that fell on my head while spring-cleaning. In it, I found a stack of old ID cards. As I spread them out, they evoked my journey so far. A sample: LIBRARY CARD, circa high-school: fresh-faced, I gaze out, all straightened teeth and sparkly eyes. Pity about the perm. Yes. A perm. Shaped to my head (a moment’s silence, to reflect on just how bad that is). The card evokes water-stained taffeta dresses, an after-school… [Read More]
Mistaken Identity: I am *not* the Boob Blogger.
Some people share their name with rock stars, world leaders or Nobel Laureates. Not me. I call it The Case of the Curious Stats (as in statistics). Like most sites, this website allows us to monitor general data—which countries are represented, which pages are most viewed etc. I was curious to see a recent spike in hits from Spain. Lovely, I thought…someone had picked up my blog in Barcelona or Madrid? The numbers continued to grow. Within a few days I was tossing my hair in that slightly-self-satisfied way, worthy of a shampoo commercial (I drew the line at winking). Then… [Read More]